Shit Fuck Goddamn

Tonight is just a big ball of shit, being rolled around on my life katamari-style.

Why do I feel the urge to have a boyfriend? It's a constant problem in my life. I claim that it's because I get bored without one. It's true that they're fun to hang out with on a regular basis, I guess. I don't fucking know. They're so difficult to sustain. I think half of the reason I feel the need to have one is for sex, anyway. I'm not a big fan of fuck-buddies or one-night-stands.

Alls I know is, I gotta break the habit. I'm sick of boys. Gimme some girls! Either that or no one at all. Relationships are fucking stupid. They're for people who feel the need to have someone else to depend on. And most other people don't give a shit about your problems. As I realize over and over. I get sad and consider calling people, and realize that people either don't want to talk about it, or just don't care. A big thank you to a certain friend who hung up when I tried to call her. No explanation. Not like she's ever cared much about when I try to contact her, anyway. I'm just fucking sick of it.

I'm supposed to just depend on my family, but I was never really able to talk to them about personal things, anyway. I don't know. I should just stop fucking whining.

I've been called a lot of bad things lately, and maybe I deserved it. Well, I don't think I'm a cunt. Maybe a bitch. Maybe paranoid or crazy.

Well, I broke one guy's heart, and strung along an internet guy that I didn't really like. I'm just waiting for the drama to be over. I QUIT. Internet and boys and relationships.