Thug Lyfe

The El passes me by and I run for it, glancing to my right for a relatively friendly looking train car. I choose the second to last and sit down, looking around me.

Oh, the red line at midnight.

Chinstrap and Ballcap over there are drinking vodka from a plastic bottle when Ballcap decides to stumble over and sit next to me. His poofy jacket is wide enough to crowd me against the window.

"Hey, --- - -- - -?" His drunken mumbling is obscured by the sound of the train.
"What?" I lower my head to hear, wondering whether I should tell him to fuck off, ignore him, or act nice so I won't set him off.
"---&@)-(--?" He asks again.
"I can't hear you." I say, raising my voice slightly.
"You can't hear me?" He manages to say.
"You're too drunk, I can't understand you."
"You can't hear me?" He looks up at me and offers me an earbud from his MP3 player. I shake my head 'no.'
I'm frowning heavily by now, because it's midnight and I'm tired and I'm fucking sick of being harassed by dumbfucks who want to show off to their pals or solicit me for sex on the train. Finally he turns his attention to the guy across the aisle who is conveniently ignoring my discomfort. Ballcap says something to him, and the guy shakes his head. At last, the thug next to me gets up to rejoin Chinstrap and I bolt up and out of my seat, headed for the next car up. I'm glad I know how to work those emergency handles now.

Either I attract creeps, or I'm asking for it by riding the red line alone at night. Maybe I should just act crazier than they do.